


Trying

by God217



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 07:00:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15114218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/God217/pseuds/God217
Summary: (AU in which V survives the Secret Endings)My entry for the Jihyun Positivity Event, as the theme was "Human" it immediately made me think of the song by Rag'n'Bone Man with the same name. I've always thought the lyrics fit V.I've seen a lot of people hating on him because of all of the mistakes he's made, and the people getting hurt because of them. The thing is, they're right.He did make a lot of mistakes.But in the end, he knows he was wrong, and he owns up to it.He may have messed up a lot, but he only ever had good intentions. All he's ever wanted was to protect the people he cared about.He did the wrong thing, but he thought he was right at the time.Making mistakes is human.





	Trying

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

Maybe I'm foolish  
Maybe I'm blind  
Thinking I can see through this  
And see what's behind  
Got no way to prove it  
So maybe I'm blind

But I'm only human after all  
I'm only human after all  
Don't put your blame on me  
Don't put your blame on me

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

Looking back, there are a lot of things he now wishes he’d have done differently.

Starting from the day he met Rika, it seems like all he’s done was make mistakes.

It feels like every single choice he’s made was wrong.

He thought he was doing the right thing, he was convinced he knew best.

He thought if he gave her all of his live, his light would vanquish her darkness.

He saw too late he was instead only nurturing it, allowing it to take her over.

Maybe it would’ve been best if he’d never met her.

If he’d never let her take him out for coffee.

None of this would’ve happened.

If only he’d known back then.

But he didn’t.

He tried.

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

Take a look in the mirror  
And what do you see  
Do you see it clearer  
Or are you deceived  
In what you believe

'Cause I'm only human after all  
You're only human after all  
Don't put the blame on me  
Don't put your blame on me

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

Looking back now, he knows he was wrong to keep her a secret.

He knows he should’ve never lied to the others, he should’ve never made them believe she was dead.

Maybe if he’d asked for help instead, they could’ve saved her together.

Or if not her, at least all of the people she’s hurt.

Maybe they could’ve saved Saeran.

But he didn’t want them to worry, and he didn’t want to admit to failing Rika like he did.

He thought he could handle it by himself, but things got out of hand and he lost control.

When he realized, it was already too late.

But damn it, he tried.

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

Some people got the real problems  
Some people out of luck  
Some people think I can solve them  
Lord heavens above

I'm only human after all  
I'm only human after all  
Don't put the blame on me  
Don't put the blame on me

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

He knows he’s still the leader of the RFA, he’s been all along ever since Rika left.

But at the same time, what kind of leader was he?

He’s been so caught up in trying to fix his mistakes, all he’s done was neglect the friends he still had left.

And they still trusted him, they still looked up to him for guidance.

And he failed them.

All he’s ever done was lie to them.

He didn’t want to hurt them, but trying to protect them only made things worse in the end.

He didn’t know this would happen, it was the last thing he wanted.

They put their trust in him, and he let them all down.

He let everyone own.

He doesn’t deserve to even look at their faces now, let alone lead them.

But he tried.

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

Don't ask my opinion  
Don't ask me to lie  
Then beg for forgiveness   
For making you cry  
Making you cry

'Cause I'm only human after all  
I'm only human after all  
Don't put your blame on me  
Don't put the blame on me

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

He knows things will never be the same now, he knows his mistakes can’t be undone.

Now they know.

Now they’ll never look at him the same again.

No amount of apologies will fix things, he’s well aware of that.

He promised Saeyoung he’d protect his brother, and all he’s ever done was lie.

He promised Saeran to keep him safe, and he abandoned him.

Yoosung has every right to hate him, he always had, although he’s never wanted to admit it.

He hasn’t even seen his best friend in years.

Jumin won’t leave him, he may be disappointed but he’ll at least respect his decisions. He’s logical like that, he’s always been.

But he doesn’t deserve such a friend.

It’d be best if he just disappeared.

Maybe he should’ve just left with Rika years ago, tried to at least stay by her side. Maybe that would’ve changed things.

He tried so hard to fix everyone’s problems, to shoulder every load all alone, and he’s only made everything so much worse.

But all he’s ever done was try.

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

I'm no prophet or Messiah  
Should go looking somewhere higher  
I'm only human after all  
I'm only human after all  
Don't put the blame on me  
Don't put the blame on me

I'm only human   
I do what I can  
I'm just a man   
I do what I can  
Don't put the blame on me  
Don't put your blame on me

═════ ▓▓ ❂ ▓▓ ═════

He’s human.

That’s all he is.

All he’ll ever be.

He’s made countless mistakes, he’s indirectly hurt countless people with his actions.

He’ll have to live with that guilt forever, he’ll have endless regrets every day of his life.

But he’s only human.

He tried doing the right thing.

He tried to help, to protect the people he cared about.

He never meant for anyone to be harmed.

He’s devoted his entire self to saving people, to sacrificing himself to let them be happy.

He was wrong.

He knows he was wrong, and he’s sorry.

Sorry will never be enough, of course.

But what more can he do but try?


End file.
